Sunday, February 28, 2010

Bleeding

I was attempting to pull some archived documents off of my old, jumbled document bookshelf, which also happens to be an unbelievably shitty Ikea trash shelf. The shelf jostling inherent in the shittiness of Ikea caused a poorly located framed Monet print to tip off and fall onto none other than my head. In the process it brought down several other office supplies that had been in front of it. Luckily I was able to catch it through the hail of markers and note pads as it bounced off my back, thereby preventing it from shattering all over the floor or my foot. After swearing and cleaning up the mess, I went into the kitchen where I noticed that, Holy God, my finger is bleeding!! This did puzzle me since there had been no broken glass. I then realized that the real problem was that a sharpie had exploded, so I needed to clean that up.
While writing this, I dropped a glass of water on my computer. My reaction was to brush it off quickly, which of course resulted in broken glass and water all over the floor. Let's hope this is the end of the evening's disasters.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Guilted

Eric's recent blog update - the first in months - has seemingly guilted me into updating mine, although, like him, I will probably still not update that frequently. It's not like anyone actually reads this shit anyway, it's more to add to the useless berth of shit oozing from the internet.
I am currently waiting for a classmate of mine to arrive, and will probably be interrupted by him. We are going to go to McCarran for some much needed tossing. I was excited to learn recently, through his response to my gchat status eulogizing the man who first spread the frisbee across the US, that my classmate Devin, who lives a block from me, is also quite a fan of ultimate. I was further excited to learn that he was interested in getting into a tossing and sprinting regimen with me. We shall see how serious we both are about this as the semester drags on.
This has actually been a very good week.
Last night I went to my first ever "Koffee Klatch", which is basically a cocktail party with coffee instead of booze. It was a ridiculous amount of fun. This first-year student, Jessica, has a couple of friends, one of whom may be her boyfriend, who are trying to start a coffee roasting business in New Brunswick. Man, the interjections (perhaps my favorite - and way overused - literary technique) are getting out of control. They made some spectacular coffee and have convinced me to buy my beans from them from now on. I had what may have been in the top three best espresso drinks I've ever had, and I also had this delicious Costa Rican coffee dripped in a Chemex, which I don't believe I've seen before. Jessica made some amazing chocolate cookies with raw cocoa and broken up Girardelli candy bars instead of chips. The company was also great, despite the fact that there were some serious Christians. They are the type of Christians who believe that Christ wants them to help the poor and grow organic food, so they are cool.
Just got back from a way too long session of tossing. It was insanely windy too.
After the coffee, I headed back to the city. On the bus I reflected on what it would be like to die on the bus ride. I found it somewhat poetic to think about the concept of taking this trip I take daily, but my body and soul diverging in their travels. My body would arrive at the typical destination, but I wouldn't be there. Of course, in order to appreciate that it was happening I would have to know I was dieing, in which case I would have to ruin it by trying to save myself, unless I was in such a mess that I knew I was going to die, in which case the other people on the bus would probably know too, which would distract from the peacefulness. So I guess I'll still have to hope for the meteorite death.
When I got back, soul intact, I headed straight to Eric's. I was supposed to print Brandy's lift ticket coupon that she earned when she bought her new board, but then she couldn't find the serial number on the board so we headed out to the bar. We checked out the place that used to be Lenora's Way, one of Brandy and my favorites and found that it had become quite cool, although in a different way. They had kind of turned into a typical hipster bar, but they were playing some good music and had expanded their beer menu tremendously. It was really crowded, so we decided to just get one beer and take off. Miraculously though we got seats at the bar pretty quickly and decided to stay for three. It was kind of funny because they had all this great beer, but then had these very kitchy Miller Highlife and Pabst signs, and there were all these idiots ordering really shitty beers like Bud in bottles. I thought the burly bartender who was a caricature of a derby girl was going to be shitty to us after she implicitly accused me of taking money off the bar, but I think she determined that nobody who feels about beer the way we do could be a thief. That or she decided we were too big of dweebs. She gave us a freebie after the cask we both ordered gave out 2/3 through the second pour, and then she and the other bartender gave us free (totally unnecessary) fourth beers and challenged us to a chug-off. They absolutely decimated us as we could barely touch our frigid, bubbly stouts before they gulped the whole thing. I just remembered this event and now all the pieces have fallen into place to explain how I got so wasted.
After the beers we went back to Eric's as Brandy had finally found the serial number, but the internet was down for the first time ever. I completely forgot this and I awoke filled with guilt at having forgotten to print the coupon. Brandy responded to my text, "What are you talking about? Eric's internet didn't work, [sic] you called to tell me at 3 am."
Now I really have to get my shit together since I have a ridiculous amount of stuff to do this weekend. Mmm, I smell my coffee is ready...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

YANBAG - Yet Another North Brooklyn Attractions Guide

I know there are a lot of these fuckers around, but this is mainly for visitors who want our personal opinions of stuff to do in the area. If you've found this randomly, you're lucky because we have spectacular taste in all things. This is centered in North Brooklyn, specifically Williamsburg and Greenpoint as we live right near McCarran Park in Greenpoint. Some Bushwick might creep in here too.
This is basically an ongoing process that we add to whenever we have time. The views are all our own, and do not represent the views of your mother, blah, blah, but they are 100% correct. Keep in mind that we have only been to a few of the places once or twice. They must have made an impression on us, or we wouldn't have included them, but the quality experience may be a fluke. We generally specify this though. In the music venues (whenever the hell we finish this section), we wanted to be comprehensive, so we have included places we've never been to so you know they exist. If they suck, let us know.
Anyway, have fun.

*Disclaimer: I am a beer snob. I believe that life is too short and there are way too many amazing beers to drink marginal shit if you don't have to. Keep this in mind when you read. Here is a key to my terms:
Amazing/excellent/etc: There are very good microbrew beers typically with a varied, and hopefully, rotating tap selection.
Decent: They have some good beers and/some decent beers but I'm not blown away, and the selection is probably not that varied or that unique, maybe one rather good, but common beer like Leffe. 2-3 beers I wouldn't complain about, but wouldn't jump around the room about either, read: Six Point, Brooklyn Brown or Winter (not stupid Lager), Magic Hat 9, Fat Tire, etc.
Typical NYC bar pretend good crap: Ugh, this is even more annoying than having complete shit. These are the typical beers that people who are just getting past Miller are experimenting with, or for those who think they drink good beers but have no idea what they're talking about. Sorry if this offends you, but I was there once too. Anyway, there seems to be this specific menu for bars in New York where they want to pretend to have good beer but have to ask their distributor what that means. These bars will have any or all of the following: Brooklyn Lager, Guinness, Blue Moon, Bass, Sierra Nevada (very cool business ethics though), Stella (ughh), Heineken (shittiest macrobrew in Holland), Corona (decent in the right mood, but there are far better ones for that mood), maybe Harp. Ok, these are all drinkable, but always a huge disappointment when I see a huge row of taps only to discover this clichéd crap.
Marginal: They might have 1 of the decent beers, but generally a bunch of crap, including the worst of the pretend good stuff. Perhaps Magic Hat, Stella, Bud Light, Budweiser, Pabst.
Undrinkable/"they don't have beer": I'm not going to drink at this horrible place, how the hell did I get here??


Restaurants

Ella
Local
Moto
- Probably our favorite restaurant in our neighborhood, although it's a bit out of the way. It's a small place with a dark, intimate atmosphere, great for taking a date, but also great with a group of friends no greater than 4 (due to size). They have excellent, rich food. We typically get a main course and a small plate and have never been disappointed. It's also hard not to pass up the dessert. They usually have musicians playing in the corner, which is nice. It's not a super cheap place, but not insanely expensive either. The beer is okay, not a huge selection, but they have a pretty decent wine selection. They are on the corner of Broadway and Hooper in a triangle building. It is literally right underneath the Hewes J,M,Z station. You can also get there by walking from Lorimer L. Go S on Union 4 bl. R on Grand, then quick L on Hooper. 6 bl to the obvious location. This is kind of in the hood, but we used to live right around the corner and it's not terrible either.

Fette Sau
- We love this BBQ place/whiskey bar. It is in an old auto shop converted to a no-nonsense, all red meat BBQ joint. Walk up to the buffet, point out your meat, sold by the pound, maybe get some veggies and a roll, select your picnic table and chow down in communal good cheer. You can also just quaff beers at the bar. They sell quite good beer in mason jars or by the gallon and have a whiskey bar with a wide selection. The wall is painted with all the cuts of meat, and they have an outdoor area. On Metropolitan just W of Havermeyer. Lorimer L/Metro G walk E on Metro, under the freeway and just over two bl on L. From Bedford L, S on Bed, L on N 4th 2.5 bl to merge on Metro and it's right across the street. The entrance is a little narrow and there is a chainlink fence on one side and brick wall on the other. Right across from Spuyten Duyvel and close to the New York Reliquary Museum.
Lomzynianka
- Our favorite Polish restaurant in this very Polish neighborhood. It has a small, cozy atmosphere with friendly staff. The food is very cheap and delicious. It's typical heavy Polish food, so be ready to walk slow afterward. I almost always get the Polish Platter (3 pierogies, kielbasa, stuffed cabbage, bigos and potatoes). The kielbasa and stuffed cabbage are my favs, but everyone seems to rave about the pierogies. I think it's a cult of personality. I also like the potato pancakes but they are very greasy and in huge portion. Everything gets Polish salads on the side. The first time we went there, we spent about $13 for two and had leftovers. Even better, it can be seen from our back window! Manhattan Ave b/w Nassau (or Bedford, I guess) & Norman. E side of the street. It's literally above the Nassau G. From Bed L, walk N all the way to the end, take a L and it'll be pretty close on the R. It's very small. They have newspaper reviews in the window and the interior is decked out in X-mas lights.
Bosu
Enid's
Eat
Vinnie's Pizza


Bars

Barcade
- Old-school arcade games for a quarter, amazing rotating US microbrew tap selection for $5-7 - what else can I say? I love this place and always try to take visitors here. If you think American beer is piss water with, get your European ass to this bar and you'll see what our recent change in beer laws has done for the industry. Lots of space, although it tends to get crowded, often with lame-o's, later on the weekend. I'll kick your ass at Tapper. On Union b/w Ainsle & Powers. 2.5 bl S of Lorimer L/Metro G (Union exit).
Spuyten Duyvel
- Tired of American beer at Barcade? This amazing Belgian beer bar is very close by. There is a good rotating tap/cask selection, and has many, many great beers from all over the world in bottles. They serve meat and cheese and pickles. Decor is cozy and wooden with maps everywhere (you know I love it!). They have a huge, beautiful tree covered garden (although they expanded it and the new area is kind of crappy), but you gotta show up early if you want a table. On Metropolitan, directly across from Havermeyer. Lorimer L/Metro G walk E on Metro, under the freeway and two bl on R. From Bedford L, S on Bed, L on N 4th 2.5 bl to merge on Metro and it's just past on the R. Across from Fett Sau and the New York Reliquary Museum.
Fette Sau
- We love this BBQ place/whiskey bar. It is in an old auto shop converted to a no-nonsense, all red meat BBQ joint. Walk up to the buffet, point out your meat, sold by the pound, maybe get some veggies and a roll, select your picnic table and chow down in communal good cheer. You can also just quaff beers at the bar. They sell quite good beer in mason jars or by the gallon and have a whiskey bar with a wide selection. The wall is painted with all the cuts of meat, and they have an outdoor area. On Metropolitan just W of Havermeyer. Lorimer L/Metro G walk E on Metro, under the freeway and just over two bl on L. From Bedford L, S on Bed, L on N 4th 2.5 bl to merge on Metro and it's right across the street. The entrance is a little narrow and there is a chainlink fence on one side and brick wall on the other. Right across from Spuyten Duyvel and close to the New York Reliquary Museum.
Black Rabbit
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Diamond
- Good local bar. They have a revolving selection of excellent microbrews on tap. I've never seen it crowded and the crowd is friendly as is the bartender who is easy to get into a conversation. They have a cool-looking yard, but we discovered it this winter. There is shuffleboard. On Franklin b/w Meserole & Calyer/Banker, W side of street. From here, walk north 2 bl to Calyer, L on Calyer 5 bl to crazy intersection w/Franklin. L on Frank and it's right there on the rt.
DBA
- Beer bar with locations in New Orleans and Manhattan. Good beers on rotation. Can't say much about the decor, it's pretty unremarkable. They have a small yard. 117 N. 7th b/w Berry & Wyeth (2 bl W of Bedford Ave L).

The bar formerly known as Lenora's Way, aka Craft
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Pete's Candy Store
- Great bar, even when not seeing the music. See under music venues.
Gutter
- The bowling alley of choice in N. Bky, and also a great place to hang out and drink. Fairly hipster crowd, not too pretentious. Not filled with douchebag condo dwellers like Brooklyn Bowl. Good beers available for decent prices. Usually good music and, yeah, we really like to hang out here. Show up early for bowling since there will be a wait. 200 N 14th b/w Berry & Wyeth. From here or Nassau G, walk W on Nassau 5 bl past Manhattan to right where the road is curving. R on 14th and it's on your L. From Bedford L, walk N on Bed until just before the park. L on 12th 1 bl. R on Berry. Go 2 bl, L on 14. It's on your L. Don't worry about the abandoned warehouse feel of the area, it's legit.
Enid's
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East River Bar
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Crocodile Lounge
- On Metropolitan b/w Lorimer/Leonard, just E of Lorimer L, Metro G. Not the coolest place, but you do get a small brick oven pizza with every beer, always. It's actually pretty good, although the beer selection is the typical NYC, "good beer for those who don't know any better." We sometimes go there when we want a bite to eat before heading somewhere else.

Music Venues

Pete's Candy Store
- 219 Lorimer b/w Frost and Richardson (2 blk S of McCarran & 2 blk N of BQE. Friendly local and unique music venue. We've always had fun here, meeting people, etc. Free music every night. It's a small venue - the music part is like a wide school bus, but it's fun and there is a ton more space in the front and back. There is a really cool garden in the back where they grill in the summer. Beers I suggest are the 6 Point on tap or a bottle of Chimay.
Glasslands
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Club Europa
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Music Hall of Williamsburg
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Warsaw


Coffee Shops

El Beit
- On Bedford b/w N 8 & 9. W side of street. Great coffee (they have a Clover). It's also a nice place to hang out. They have huge front windows from which you can do a lot of good Bedford Ave people watching. In nice weather they open up the windows and back door for a good breeze, and they have a pretty large garden. I find it good for working with the right amount of background noise, but their internet has become a bit dodgy. It's almost always crowded, but the turnover is pretty high, so I usually get a seat quickly. Barristas have always been friendly and really happy that you want coffee.
Oslo
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Cafe Grumpy
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Gimme Coffee
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Retail

Cheese Shop of Williamsburg
Beacon's Closet

Points of Interest

East River Park
- Take N 8th all the way to the river. New, chill park with great views of the city. The summer concerts that used to take place at McCarran Pool have moved there.
New York Reliquary
- Interesting, but tiny NYC museum on south side of Metropolitan just E of Havermeyer. Only open on Thu nights and Sat, Sun.
The Rocket Factory
- My buddy lives in a place with an amazing roof view. You can see the whole of Manhattan, and all of the major bridges besides the GWB and perhaps Throgs. It's easy to get in since there are so many people living there, you just have to wait outside. 100 s 4th st, just west of Bedford on the south side of the street. Sometimes the elevator doesn't go up to the roof, so you have to take the stairs from the top floor. If you show up on a Thu-Sat night with good weather there is almost guaranteed to be a hopping party, although some douches moved in and have been complaining about the noise lately.